Author: tracymurdoch
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From Cancer to Fully Alive, Part 7 of 7
When I look back now, I can see that none of it was random. Not my mother’s death.Not my obsession with learning about health.Not becoming a yoga teacher.Not learning Reiki so I could place my own hands on my body and send myself love when things felt overwhelming.Not the diagnosis.Not the question I asked myself…
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From Cancer to Fully Alive, Part 6 of 7
After cancer, I didn’t shrink. I expanded. I stopped trying to outrun death, and began moving toward life. When I was gifted a harmonium from a shaman visiting from New York in the spring of 2019, I took that as a sign that I was on the right path. Once I opened my mouth and…
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From Cancer to Fully Alive, Part 5 of 7
In the weeks that followed my surgery, I focused primarily on gentle yoga, self-reiki, and meditation. I could feel my fear of dying as tension in my body, and I knew the only way forward was to face it. One day, as I was meditating, I heard a voice in my head say “If you…
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From Cancer to Fully Alive, Part 4 of 7
I spent the night after breast cancer surgery (a double mastectomy with reconstruction) in the hospital while the anesthesia and medications moved out of my system. The next morning I woke up and realized I could barely lift my arms. No one had prepared me for that. I hadn’t understood how much removing all of…
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From Cancer to Fully Alive, Part 3 of 7
In the summer of 2010, we sold many of our belongings, packed up what was left, and camped our way across Canada with a baby, 2 cats, 100 of Orrin’s favourite plants in pots, and our newly acquired tent trailer. We did exactly what we set out to do when we got to Nova Scotia.…
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From Cancer to Fully Alive, Part 2 of 7
I graduated from college in Northern California with a bachelors degree in Civil Engineering and landed my first job at a large consulting firm. The culture was competitive. Work long hours. Prove you’re worthy of a bonus, a raise, a promotion. All while knowing your co-workers were doing the same. While I learned a lot…
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From Cancer to Fully Alive, Part 1 of 7
For the next couple of weeks, I’m going to share a 7-part series of something I’ve never shared before. It’s the story of how I got here… and why I’m about to step in a new direction. My first real memory is of when my mother died of breast cancer. I was five. I didn’t…