In the summer of 2010, we sold many of our belongings, packed up what was left, and camped our way across Canada with a baby, 2 cats, 100 of Orrin’s favourite plants in pots, and our newly acquired tent trailer. 

We did exactly what we set out to do when we got to Nova Scotia. We found a beautiful piece of land with a recently renovated farmhouse, which felt like a gift because I had a one-year-old and was more than ready to nest rather than “fix.” We bought it and moved in within a month.

We grew a large garden every year and began raising cows, sheep, goats, pigs, chickens, and more. We connected deeper to the land and sold food through a CSA (Community-Supported Agriculture) system that we ran, providing food in the summer months to families in our area. 

I continued my yoga training, becoming first 200-hr, then 500-hr certified. I learned reiki and completed multiple levels of training so I could use it as a tool for healing myself. I also began offering one-on-one sessions with clients.

Then, in August of 2016, the year my son turned 7, it happened. 

I found a lump. 

It was above my breast, so I didn’t think anything of it at first. But it grew. And when I couldn’t ignore it any longer, with a knot in my stomach, I called the doctor. 

There was a mammogram.

Then a CT scan.

Then a biopsy.

And then, the diagnosis. 

I was 42 years old when I was told I had breast cancer. 

In that moment, I felt dread and relief all at the same time.

Dread, because I had first-hand experience of what can follow that word. I had equated it with imminent death since childhood.

And relief, because what I had been bracing for all those years had finally arrived. The waiting was over. The other shoe had dropped.

I had been trying to do everything right, and yet cancer happened anyway.

After the diagnosis, I was pulled into the medical system fast and furious. It was incredibly overwhelming as I had to make big decisions quickly. I’m not sure why it happened so fast, but I was diagnosed on December 6, and by December 14, I had a double mastectomy. 

I didn’t have to go that route. I could have opted for one breast to be removed, or a lumpectomy and radiation, but I knew that I was never going to give myself the opportunity to be diagnosed with breast cancer again, and that felt like the way to go.

I remember waking up after surgery, feeling incredibly relieved, and lighter in my body than I had ever felt before. The only part of my body I had ever been afraid of were my breasts, and once they were gone, the fear left me and I knew I would never fear cancer again. 

Faced with this life-altering diagnosis, and the very real possibility that my time might be shorter than I had imagined, something unexpected happened. 

I realized that everything I had done to support my health had prepared me for this moment. 

The meditation I learned through yoga.

The reiki that taught me how to send myself unconditional love.

The awareness of my body.

Every tool in my tool box was no longer about prevention, it was about meeting myself where I was in this moment.

And I began to use those tools to heal.

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Photo (taken less than a month after moving onto our land):

I’ve got a baby asleep on my back and am prepping for what will become the spot for our first greenhouse.

Stay tuned for Part 4, coming soon.